Ever Evolving

by Tami Gallagher 

Last fall Jeanette and I were doing a clean-up on a particularly large property.  The job took about 25 hours (our average property is 4 hours.)  After working about 6 hours or so, Jeanette looks up and says with a sigh, “Wow, there’s a lot more to go.”  I told her to look down and focus on what was right in front of her. Then, ever so often, look back and see how much she had accomplished.

I was struck by a metaphor for the grief I was then, and still am, enduring.  My brother killed himself 9 months ago, a few weeks before the weeding session mentioned above, and every day requires mental and emotional fortitude.

My brother and I were very close.  I am overwhelmed at the thought of living the rest of my life without him.  However, my words to Jeanette echo in my mind.  In handling my grief I must remember to do today’s work, feel and process the emotions that come about today and then, ever so often, look back and appreciate how far I’ve come.

Like a garden, we should never be complete or stagnant but rather a work in progress; ever evolving. I am a different person than I was 9 months ago.  There is a heaviness in me that may always be there in some form, but I am not broken. In fact, I am wiser and more aware than ever the awe as well as the fragility of life.

Thank you to all my wonderful clients and employees for the amazing support and patience you’ve had with me over the last 9 months.  I am so blessed.